You screwed up.
You are cognizant of it.
So, what’s the problem saying sorry? Simple, plain old fashioned Sorry.
“I’m really sorry that I screwed up. I will do my best to fix it.”
Some of the engineers, managers and business leaders I’ve come across hardly know this word. They shy away from it. It’s either not there in their vernacular or it is a tongue twister for them.
Aah, I exaggerate. We know that’s not the case.
Actually, most of the people either genuinely don’t realize that they have screwed up or feel bit awkward saying that. They think they might look weak and vulnerable if they were to apologize or it could be that a honest admission of mistake would somehow cast a shadow on their superiority/path to success.
In almost negligible cases, some people are probably built not to ever accept their mistakes. They always have an excuse, someone or some situation to be blamed – somehow they can never make a mistake. Period. In my experience, there is a high correlation between these kind of individuals and them taking undue credit of someone else’s hard work/ideas. They would always make themselves look good no matter if someone else has done the hard work.
On the contrary, I believe it speaks volumes about the maturity and emotional fortitude of a person who is not afraid to admit the mistake and apologize. Saying sorry from the heart gives you another chance to rectify the mistake and helps re-build the trust. It just goes to show that you are cognizant that you let someone down, even inadvertently, but are ready to be given another chance to fix your mistake i.e. you are an objective person - well aware of capabilities, what is expected of you and how are you doing against those expectations?
My question to those who can’t say sorry is “how does one even grow if one doesn’t admit mistakes and is willing to learn from them?”
Photo By: ExtraLife
4 comments:
This is quite interesting and I guess applies to both personal and professional life. For me personally it wasn't about saying sorry but the underlying reasoning as will sorry actually correct anything since I've always lived by "Action Speaks Louder than words". I would rather do something that would indicate that the mistake has taught me something or that I am sorry without actually saying it. This however didn't work when you want to convey your empathy so I decided to change the approach to initially respond with an apology and then go about my own way of proving it :)
So my question for you would be does saying sorry indicate a maturity or does someone who actually does something about it.
So to be diplomatic I would say , Say sorry and also do something.
But that's too ideal a situation.
Sorry for digressing.
Sajay,
For me they are intertwined. One really says sorry when one becomes cognizant of the mistake and is ready to take an action to fix it. I didn't imply meaningless and hollow apologies.
I think that should answer your question that I'm in favor of only saying sorry when you are going to take an action to fix it.
Well, you never digress :) Hope you are doing great.
In offices, I've seen that many a times sorry is used as a weapon against you. Person to whom I say sorry needs to be mature enough or a little less smart. Though I agree with you completely. But at work it is imperative to be careful about when, where and to whom to use that word. People just try to extract a sorry so that they can show some kind of one-upmanship.
Right on, Sudesh.
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